Published Aug 04, 2026 | 1:10 PM ⚊ Updated Aug 04, 2026 | 2:04 PM
InJest in a satirical column by South First. Names, places, situations are all fictitious. Caricature by Satish Acharya/South First.
It was an act that sent shock waves across the newsroom!
Shorswami, Editor and owner of Shouts Wow, sat on a six-hour, day-long, indefinite hunger strike against GenZ for not toeing the government’s line like mainstream media—making fun of both.
The strike saw him eat only a gluten-free, no-carb vegan diet, except for an hourly glass of local Jersey cow milk at Jantar Mantar.
Shorswami hoped it would bear juicier and more ripe fruits than Hazare or Wangchuk’s endeavours. Being the bigger celebrity than both of them put together filled his full stomach with even more confidence.
He counted on the government’s full support, rather than just the lathis the recent student protest got, given his insatiable appetite to favour it.
His confidence was not entirely misplaced given that the Tea Minister has found a new taste to give in to demands these days.
The Tea Minister’s office gobbled down all the complaints against Gen Z that Shorswami served on a platter.
“Last thing’s first,” he told the hungry ears.
“The Ba@@@@ds, a@@h@@@ GenZ protestors used abusive language that goes against our culture,” he abused the abuses and the abusers.
He abused further: “How dare they abuse the Tea Minister when we don’t even dare take his name?”
He was clear that abusing is intolerable, especially when pointed at the government and not the opposition for the country’s problems.
Shorswami was quick to point out that GenZ was wrong to treat the Tea Minister the way he treats Jawaharlal Nehru and his descendants.
A pleased government agreed to taste each of these abuses to see how it likes it and spit them out at its own convenience.
As abusing satiated his hunger and grumbling tummy a bit, Shorswami moved on to the next course of demanding his demands, which he guaranteed would counter the abuses and act as a palate cleanser.
He requested that the minister immediately colour his hair and beard black like chocolate or golden like chips, instead of the ‘Jersey cow-milk white’ colour he was currently sporting.
Shorswami then suggested that the Tea Minister should reduce his waist to anything but 56 inches, as it has led to distasteful comparisons to his 56-inch thumping chest.
His third plea was to change the camera angle of reels he is making so that his teeth look ‘Jersey cow-milk white’ and not a ‘chewing tobacco warning ad brown ’, which leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
His final prayer was also a call for a piece of revenge against what he innovatively and proudly described as ‘Generation gutter’.
He praised political leaders incentivising people to have more kids as the real champions of taking on GenZ.
“The more kids that are born now will later trouble and abuse this GenZ when they are older,” he said, explaining his masterstroke. “A law should be cooked up to this taste,” was his final course.
The government, hungry for support, chewed on the demands bite by bite and digested all of them without a loud burp.
A hungry but satisfied Shorswami ended the 6-hour, day-long, indefinite fast with a loud burp half an hour before schedule and just in time for high tea at the TMO. He gained 5 kgs that day.
(Written by Prabhpreet, an Unsanskari Writer, with a lifelong experience of laughing at things that make him cry.)
Disclaimer: This is a piece of satire and is fictitious.
