Published Aug 06, 2026 | 11:45 AM ⚊ Updated Aug 06, 2026 | 11:45 AM
InJest in a satirical column by South First. Names, places, situations are all fictitious. Caricature by Satish Acharya/South First.
With Gen Z protests leading opposition protests in Parliament, the government is protesting its protest by bringing a bill to take Parliament exclusively online.
This is why the Tea and House Minister have not attended the current session of Parliament and not because of the protesting protestors.
Satire Satya was DM-ed by a confidential source, a social media influencer who wrote the bill. His qualifications include being Gen Z, lifelong zero experience in governance, a million Instagram followers and knowing the right angle to make reels.
He told Satya, “This bill will solve all problems of facing protestors in Parliament as pellet guns and lathis can’t be misused on its premises.”
The sessions will be held on Instalive via the government’s official channel, Fardarshan’s Instagram account.
“The voting will happen via ‘likes’ and proposed amendments can be typed in the comments section,” the source explained via reel.
The Parliament building will now be just a tourist spot showcasing Jawaharlal Nehru’s failure to understand the power of the internet, social media and especially Instagram.
The new law will allow the Tea Minister to be on his foreign trips receiving made-up awards and eating toffee while attending Parliament.
The bill has unanimous support from all who know nothing about its existence, including offline supporters and online followers.
Speaker of the People Sabha gave his whole backing since muting mics will be easier and there is no danger of the opposition drowning in the well. “You can even remove them from the online session with a click,” the source said full of glee.
The House Minister claimed it will help the opposition, “This will make it easier for the leader of opposition since he comes to the country only to protest in parliament or take cross-country walks to gain Insta followers or glue the country together or something.
With E20 fuel causing damage to the exchequer with all government vehicles losing mileage, the money minister and ethanol minister have backed the move as well.
The party in power also wants to bring in Artificial Intelligence to manufacture support instead of spending two rupees per post on X (formerly Twitter).
The Selection Commission has, though, voted that the vote doesn’t go online enough.
“The election process should be via Instagram as well as long as GenZ is SIRed from it,” said the chief part-time spokesperson for the party in power-cum-Chief Selection Commissioner.
He added that since electoral bonds were disliked as unconstitutional, donations should be taken online, with OnlyFans pages of political parties receiving them directly.
Former selection commissioners warned that since Gen Z is moving away from alcohol, the promise of free followers might be used to bribe them or ‘Likes for Votes’ scam might happen.
As expected, the Opposition has challenged the bill, saying that they had just figured out protesting in parliament and on X (formerly Twitter) and now shifting to Instagram will force them to refresh.
(InJest is a satirical column from South First. Names, places, situations referred to in the satirical piece are fictitious and are not intended to hurt any sentiments. The column is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt and a whole lot of laughs.)
(Written by Prabhpreet, an Unsanskari Writer, with a lifelong experience of laughing at things that make him cry.)
