In 2016, Chennai-based cinematographer G Malarvannan lost his vision. Undeterred, he has since crafted a short film and is now seeking the necessary support for its release.
In 2016, Malar unexpectedly lost his vision, marking an unforeseen chapter in his life. (Supplied)
Ten kilometres away from Salem, in Ayothiyapattinam — a charming panchayat town — the trajectory of a 12-year-old boy’s life took an unexpected turn during his journey to school, in the early 1980s. “I am grateful that I stayed up late watching a cricket match and overslept for school that day,” chuckles G Malarvannan, a cinematographer from Chennai.
The following morning, as Malar navigated the hairpin bends of Salem, he encountered a gathering in an unusual spot that rarely saw a crowd. “I’ve always hesitated to go to that place alone, especially early in the morning. So, it was surprising to find five people there, and I decided to approach them,” he recounts.
What transpired next, “was sheer magic”.
Moments of silence, a man with his face immersed in the viewfinder of a camera lens, a woman holding a basket of flowers before the lens, and others following instructions. When the clock struck 7 am, the sun ascended from the hills, its rays piercing through the trees and branches, creating a Tyndall effect. At that moment, Malar heard the command: “Rolling, camera, action!” The whirring sound of the camera, and the woman casting flower petals, illuminated by the sun’s rays, made her appear even more radiant.
Twelve-year-old Malar stood there, witnessing the enchantment. Observing his curiosity, the cinematographer engaged with Malar. “The following day, I returned and joined them. The cinematographer permitted me to peer through the viewfinder. I’ve traversed these hairpin bends and roads for years, but I had never seen them from such a perspective,” he enthuses.
Malar was captivated and influenced by the magic of filmmaking. “The cinematographer was the legendary Ashok Kumar and the actress? It was Silk Smitha!” exclaims Malar.
“Perhaps, Ashok Kumar was impressed by my patience to learn the craft, my inquisitiveness. He suggested I learn photography,” he adds with a smile.
Since that moment, every choice in Malar’s life has been guided by the desire to perceive the world through the crystalline perspective of a lens, where even untold stories are woven into visual narratives.
South First visits Malar’s residence in Gopalapuram. A closer inspection of the fridge reveals magnets collected during Malar’s travels to 29 different countries. His T-shirt sports a print of a camera. Malar mentions he still possesses his uncle’s Yashica camera, the one he used to click pictures, after his encounter with Ashok Kumar. Malar’s wife, Mahalakshmi, a school teacher, points to a cream-coloured wall adorned with a photo frame. The frame showcases pictures of a younger Mahalakshmi and their son, all captured by Malar.
The camera is Malar’s lifeline. (Supplied)
She shares, “He used to travel extensively for work, but when he was in Chennai, our favourite pastime was posing while he clicked. He had an eye for details,” she smiles.
“An eye for details… Do you know what is the most desirable quality for a photographer?” Malar asks. Without waiting for our reply, he continues, “Conventionally, they say it’s the ability to see – to possess a keen sense of detail, to be creative and imaginative. But what if the photographer loses that ability? Of sight?” he questions.
In 2016, Malar unexpectedly lost his vision due to a retinal detachment, marking an unforeseen chapter in his life.
“I was incredibly passionate about my work. The camera was my lifeline,” Malar reflects.
In a career spanning over two decades, Malar has left a mark, contributing to the creation of numerous ad films, being a part of the Tamil film industry, and later relocating to Singapore to shoot over 400 stories. His repertoire includes a diverse range of projects, from documentaries to travelogues, where he took on multifaceted roles as a director of photography and director.
Malar was captivated and influenced by the magic of filmmaking. (G Malarvannan)
“During many projects, the producers would trust me and send me as a one-man crew,” he shares.
These productions found a platform on prominent MediaCorp Singapore channels such as Channel NewsAsia, Okto, Channel 5, and Vasantham. Internationally, his work has been showcased on AEN group channels (History, Crime and Investigation, Travel and Living), National Geographic Channel, Pogo, Channel V, Star Plus, and Star Cricket.
“I dabbled in ad films and had the opportunity to collaborate with actor-filmmaker Prathap Pothen for the film Seevalaperi Pandi (1994). Subsequently, I ventured into freelancing, taking on diverse projects. I even spent time in New Delhi working with NDTV and had the privilege of working alongside Barkha Dutt. It was during this time that a friend working in Singapore needed a cinematographer, and that’s how my move to Singapore happened,” Malar recounts.
For many, cutting their profession and passion from the same fabric might seem improbable, but Malar accomplished just that. “I would travel extensively, shooting travelogues and documentaries. I also got into ‘underworld shoots’ for various channels. It was always unpredictable, dynamic, and tense… and I loved every bit of it,” he shares.
Malar found himself boarding 60-80 flights a month, exploring destinations worldwide. “I had found my calling, and I was content. This continued until 2016,” he says.
His last shoot before losing his vision occurred between January and July 2016, covering locations in countries including Burma, Australia, and New Zealand. Malar faced considerable work-related pressure during this period. He vividly remembers a moment of disorientation while shooting a bungee jump in New Zealand. Although his vision appeared hazy, he initially attributed it to the exhaustion from extensive travel.
Upon returning to Chennai, Malar couldn’t find time to consult a medical professional as he had to head back to Australia. However, a growing sense of unease prompted him to reconsider his priorities. “Something told me I am not well. I thought I needed a break and time with my family. So, once my work commitments were fulfilled, I returned,” he narrates.
Malar’s repertoire includes a diverse range of projects, from documentaries to travelogues. (G Malarvannan)
After spending a few days in Chennai, one evening, Malar took his son to a temple. On his way back, he bought dosa batter and started making onion dosas for himself and his son. Mindful not to disturb Mahalakshmi, who was resting, he made one dosa. However, before he could start on the next, his vision became hazy. “I was chopping onions, and suddenly everything was out of focus. I understand how my camera lens works and how the lens of my eyes works. Despite splashing water on my face, everything remained out of focus. So, I informed my wife that I was going to rest and went to bed,” he recounts.
The next morning, Malar called out Mahalakshmi’s name, only to realise she was standing right next to him, and he couldn’t see her. “My vision gradually deteriorated, and now, all I can see is a white screen,” he somberly shares.
In the subsequent two years, the family explored various options for treating Malar’s condition. When doctors proposed surgery with only a 2/10 chance of success and potential complications, Malar opted against it, arriving at the decision collectively as a family.
Seated at the dining table, Mahalakshmi’s face reflects a mix of emotions as she watches Malar recall this challenging period. “It was a tough time. From breaking the news to our then 13-year-old son to coming to terms with what had happened, we were very low and had to gather courage,” shares Mahalakshmi, who has been a pillar of support for Malar for over 22 years. The couple’s love story, reminiscent of a 90s movie, has bloomed into a partnership of enduring love. “Not all days are good days, but we find our way,” Mahalakshmi smiles.
A few years after Malar lost his vision, old work acquaintances began reaching out. Opportunities came his way from Singapore. “People weren’t fully aware of my situation. So, some producers asked me to arrange a crew and shoot, not knowing that I had completely lost my vision. But I took it on as a challenge and I worked on ‘Singapore Sonnet’ for Singapore Press Holding, which aired in 2023,” he reveals.
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This experience emboldened Malar to take on more projects. “It’s been a fascinating journey… when people meet me for the first time during a recce or a project, they express surprise or shock. While it used to bother me initially, now I’ve turned my limitation into an advantage. I can’t see their reactions when they realise I am blind!” he laughs.
Malar’s working style has changed since his vision loss. He now relies more on his “heart and brain” to perceive. Before any project, a recce, where the geography is described to Malar, becomes crucial. Based on this information, he sketches a storyboard.
A rough sketch of a shooting spot by Malar. (Roshne Balasubramanian/South First)
This helps Malar direct his crew regarding the desired depth of field, framing, and other technical aspects for a shot. “He knows exactly what he wants and how to execute it,” says Mahalakshmi.
For short films, Malar ensures the script is sent to the artistes via an audio note explaining the scenes. He diligently carries out his preparations. “He is disciplined and professional. People listen to him with rapt attention when he explains a shot,” shares Mahalakshmi. “People have been welcoming, and, as I said, it has been a fascinating experience. Challenging, yes, but fascinating,” he adds.
Now, Malar is moving forward to realise his next dream. As we chat, the couple shares a one-minute video titled Something Tells Me. The trailer of the short film concludes with impactful words, “Not written – Imagined and dreamt. You have experienced and provided support for a film, created by a filmmaker who is unable to view his own work.”
“I shot this film during the pandemic with very limited resources,” shares Malar.
What urged him to shoot this? “During my time of coming to terms with my condition, my companions were my radio and podcasts. One such time, I came across an interview,” he narrates.
Reflecting on the interview with director Mysskin, where Mysskin reportedly stated, “If I lose my sight, I will stop making films,” Malar shares, “That statement changed my perspective. I began questioning, why can’t I make a film if I am blind?” “The purpose of creating this film is not to demonstrate that a blind person can do it or to prove anything to the world. It is about proving it to myself,” he explains. “However, it’s interesting that Mysskin went on to create a movie where the protagonist is blind,” he notes.
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Malar’s short film reflects elements of his life, capturing the experiences, sights, and personal growth. “It combines elements of fantasy and psychological themes,” he says.
Malar aims to finalise the post-production of the film soon. “With a small team, we have been working on it together. Thanks to Malar’s guidance, I have learned the nuances of editing, sequencing and even sound engineering!” shares Mahalakshmi.
“I am hopeful that the film gets the stage it deserves. This will inspire and give courage to many. I didn’t undertake this project merely as a cinematographer; I did it because it’s my way of expressing myself… you can’t let your expression be taken away,” he asserts.
Malar’s journey reminds us of words by Helen Keller in The Story of My Life.
I slip back many times, I fall, I stand still, I run against the edge of hidden obstacles, I lose my temper and find it again and keep it better, I trudge on, I gain a little, I feel encouraged, I get more eager and climb higher and begin to see the widening horizon. Every struggle is a victory. One more effort and I reach the luminous cloud, the blue depths of the sky, the uplands of my desire.
“When I lost my vision, I distanced myself from the world. But now, I want to showcase what I envisioned. I aspire to connect with the world and its people. This is my new identity, and I wish for the world to witness my capabilities. Ultimately, I want to prove to myself what I am truly capable of,” Malar concludes.
To reach out to Malar and support his work, visit Instagram @unsungcrow Youtube @Awhitecrow
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