Published Jul 13, 2026 | 5:39 PM ⚊ Updated Jul 13, 2026 | 5:39 PM
InJest in a satirical column by South First. Names, places, situations are all fictitious. Caricature by Satish Acharya/South First.
Shorswami asked himself and his newsroom, something that would make even Shakespeare proud — “to show or not to show? That is the real question.”
“Isn’t the real issue, what to show or not to show?” asked a cub reporter
An annoyed Shorswami shot back. “What kind of journalists just keep asking questions?”. He wanted answers.
“Why should we take these people making accusations seriously? They didn’t even have the brains to ask for receipts for their donations!” someone said.
“Did they think they were bribing a traffic cop that they couldn’t ask for a receipt?” another remarked.
Shorswami nodded proudly at how his journalists were thinking.
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A cub reporter pointed out that the donors did ask for receipts. Shorswami shot her a look and within no time she was shown the door.
Shorswami TV had unanimously decided; people making allegations were the problem and not victims of the unholy theft at Ayodhya Ram temple; they weren’t worth the airtime, he said.
“But shouldn’t we question the accused?” asked a new reporter, clearly naive and having learnt no lessons.
Of course the accused would be questioned. Except, not about the missing cash or gifts but something more important — why did they not shoo away such troublemakers the moment they saw them? Why did they try to help their souls by accepting their donations?
“Those sitting at such important high positions and handpicked by the very top leaders of government should have known better. Did they not know that troublemakers have no place in the holy land of Ayodhya?”
Also Read: RSS demands stringent action, reforms at Ayodhya temple trust
A brave soul interrupted Shorswami to ask: “Then who is at fault? I mean who do we blame?”
Shorswami knew the answer. “I’ll give you a whole list. Start with the police.”
A reporter pointed out that she had asked the House minister about the delay by police in acknowledging complaints. “He promised to take action against the cops who finally acted.”
“If only they had controlled themselves and continued to keep quiet for a few more days, all this would have gone away. The art, so carefully crafted since real independence, was forgotten,” was his honest reply.
The House Minister promised to set up an SIT to look into the actions of those who wasted precious government resources by forming an SIT on claims of misplaced funds in the first place.
Shorswami was in total agreement at the minister’s conclusion and actions.
“Not only the over zealous cops but those who are raising this issue have to be taken to task as well and need to be exposed,” he said.
These noisy rabble rousers were not letting the mountain become a molehill. After all, it was just a matter of a few crores – if the theft ever happened in the first place.
But who were these rabble rousers and what was their intent? Shorswami had the answer directly from those in government – ‘sources’ who never lie to him.
“They are anti-nationals who want to see the pride of the nation to take a hit”, his well-placed sources told him.
He agreed and even chipped his 100 crores worth. “Same with us. I believe anybody targetting us, the Media, is the same – antinational.”
“Who makes accusation of theft of donation? Why do they care where it went? That’s not how donations work,” he told everyone.
Shorswami’s number two candidly added, “that’s how religious and political donations work.”
“People who make real donations don’t care where the money or gifts go or how it is used.”
The top of the top leadership of the Government had warned the nation about people who make such allegations. They had a name.
“Urban naxals!”
The newsroom arrived at a consensus: these urban naxals – neither believe in God nor in government!
Shorswami landed on his conclusion with pride: “They have just tried to kill two birds with one stone. That’s the story. That’s the peg”
“But what about the opposition?” A murmur rose through the newsroom.
Shorswami shut them down.
“Opposition has always had a problem with donations. They cry about it all the time. First it was electoral donations via bonds and now it is religious donations made to god,” he noted.
“They are no better than the urban naxals. They always target the government and god.” The newsroom locked in on its story and a round of warm applause filled the air. Shorswami turned his worry towards the perennial problem of copycat anchors who not just copy his novel pegs but also wean his TRP away.
He was right, they did and were celebrated by all nationalists for it.
(InJest is a satirical column from South First. Names, places, situations referred to in the satirical piece are fictitious and are not intended to hurt any sentiments. The column is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt and a whole lot of laughs.)
