Published Aug 29, 2026 | 6:13 PM ⚊ Updated Aug 29, 2026 | 6:13 PM
InJest in a satirical column by South First. Names, places, situations are all fictitious. Caricature by Satish Acharya/South First.
Tea Minister’s call from the saffron fort to isolate and lathi the Dimaagi Naxals aka Intellectual Naxals was answered even before it was made, asked for, or even thought of.
In exclusive interviews given to Satire Satya and everyone else, government supporters and opponents called for peaceful use of lathis on the new Naxals in town.
TV news, led by Shouts Wow’s Editor Shorswami, in its race to the bottom, called for, at the very least, unauthorised use of authorised lathis if not authorised use of unauthorised pellet guns on them.
He agreed with the Tea Minister’s speech where he said: “Anybody making fun is more dangerous than those making bombs.”
Shorswami was not alone on the water cannon for long as he was joined by others before the first drop of water hit an intellectual or the ground.
Opposition supported lathi charging protestors since it has won it plenty of Instagram points, if not votes.
The police protested the Dimaagi Naxals too and supported the protest against the protest against them.
Satya was told by a not-well-connected source at the house of the House minister, “The police’s only problem is that since Dimaagi Naxals are imaginary, they couldn’t decide where to send the lathis and the pellets with and without the guns.
Jealousy and Stockholm syndrome saw past inventions and victims of the Tea Minister’s imagination and police hypocrisy like Khan-market, tukde-tukde gangs and various jihadis call for their latest version to be pelted.
Blind followers, better known as Andhbhakts, were filled with jealousy too, given that the government asked for tea on these fake creatures without ever acknowledging its own blind.
The old Naxals also filed defamation against Dimaagi/Intellectual Naxals for equating jokes against the Tea minister in one-minute reels against decades of armed violent rebellion.
They have also filed a copyright infringement case for forcing the government to consider brains to be the new bombs, even though the real Naxals hold exclusive rights on bombs hurled at those in power.
All the groups told Satire Satya that they are in talks to sit on an indefinite all-you-can-eat buffet at Jantar Mantar to protest the protest.
(Written by Prabhpreet, an Unsanskari Writer, with a lifelong experience of laughing at things that make him cry.)
InJest is a satirical column from South First. Names, places, and situations referred to in the satirical piece are fictitious and are not intended to hurt any sentiments. The column is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt and a whole lot of laughs.
