Dowry continues because women are not in positions of power, and many lack agency in decisions about their own lives.
Published Jul 05, 2025 | 8:00 PM ⚊ Updated Jul 05, 2025 | 8:00 PM
According to the National Crime Records Bureau, Tamil Nadu recorded 29 dowry deaths in 2022.
Synopsis: Dowry-related deaths are often shaped by family and social pressure. Many of these deaths, even when violent or suspicious, are reported as suicides instead of murders to avoid shame or settle the issue quietly. This hides the true scale of dowry violence and makes justice harder for victims.
Ridhanya from Tiruppur in Tamil Nadu married 28-year-old Kaveen Kumar on 11 April 2025. Two weeks after marriage, she returned to her parental home, unable to bear the mental and physical torture by her husband and in-laws. Her father, unaware of the depth of her pain, forced her to “adjust”.
On 29 June, just after 78 days of marriage, she left her in-laws’ home, saying she was going to the Mondipalayam temple. Hours later, her body was found in a car, frothing at the mouth. She had consumed a pesticide, it was later learnt.
In eight voice notes sent to her father shortly before her death, she had apologised for her drastic decision. “Sorry, Appa… I acted only because I was bold. I couldn’t live up to your expectations,” her last voice messages said. Throughout her voice notes, she explained the brutality she had experienced at the hands of the “Criminal Family”, including her husband, his parents. She also detailed the shame and fear that stopped her from seeking a divorce.
“One woman is meant for one man,” she said. It wasn’t the only reason, but it was one of the beliefs that held her back. She felt she couldn’t continue her life, nor begin a new one. And so, choosing not to be a burden to her family, she chose to end it instead.
Ridhanya’s father had promised her husband’s family 500 sovereigns of gold and a luxury car. But after giving 300 sovereigns, the unmet balance became the reason for her continued sufferings.
Just two days after Ridhanya’s death, another young woman, 22-year-old Lokeshwari, died by suicide in Chennai’s Ponneri, reportedly due to dowry harassment by her husband and in-laws. Her family had promised five sovereigns of gold but could only provide four.
Married on 27 June, she ended her life three days later on 30 June. According to her father’s complaint lodged at the Ponneri police station, a dispute over dowry demands had taken place. Lokeshwari’s husband had allegedly insisted she ask her parents for more gold, an air conditioner, and other household items.
She tried, but took the extreme step shortly after visiting her parents’ home.
What NCRB data, research tell
According to the National Crime Records Bureau, Tamil Nadu recorded 29 dowry deaths in 2022. In a broader pattern, the state saw 27 dowry deaths in 2021, alongside 875 cases of cruelty by husbands or their relatives. Chennai had the highest number of dowry deaths in the state.
A 2024 study by R Vishva, et al, published in the International Journal of Advanced Research in Science, Communication and Technology, found that most young adults (21–30) and unmarried respondents agreed dowry deaths are still prevalent.
Urban participants cited societal pressure as a key factor, and most believed such crimes were more common in rural areas. While men were generally satisfied with existing punishments, women expressed dissatisfaction. Feedback on law enforcement was mixed, especially among undergraduates and private sector employees.
“While laws against dowry exist, they are often poorly enforced, leading to limited impact. This highlights the need for stronger investigation, quicker justice, and awareness campaigns that reach rural communities,” the study emphasised
The study further highlighted that despite the existence of strict laws like the Dowry Prohibition Act and sections 304B and 498A of the IPC, the practice of dowry and related deaths continued due to poor law enforcement, a lack of awareness, and the deep-rooted patriarchal mindset in Indian society.
The researchers argued that real change can only come through widespread awareness campaigns, better education for girls, and encouraging their financial independence. The study strongly recommends shifting social attitudes that normalise dowry and calls for families to invest in their daughters’ futures, not in dowry arrangements.
In another study by Belur et al., titled “The Social Construction of Dowry Deaths”, the authors explained how dowry-related deaths are often shaped by family and social pressure. Many of these deaths, even when violent or suspicious, are reported as suicides instead of murders to avoid shame or settle the issue quietly. This hides the true scale of dowry violence and makes justice harder for victims.
The study also pointed out problems in police handling these cases. “The police are apt to uncritically privilege the dying declaration,” showing how social beliefs can guide the investigation.
Legal gaps and patriarchy
Speaking to South First, BS Ajeetha, Advocate, Women, Children, and LGBTQ activist, said that it is not the law that is lacking, but the way it is understood and implemented by society.
“The law is very clear in prohibiting dowry. It even treats the very practice of dowry as a crime. But that understanding has not reached society at the ground level, to the ordinary person.”
She noted that the state does not appear serious about enforcing the Dowry Prohibition Act. “It’s also about the long delays in our criminal justice system. People don’t feel strong or confident that justice will be served. They don’t trust that the system will work. Faults in policing, investigation, and prosecution make people feel it won’t be enforced. So it’s not just one reason. There are many.”
The practice of dowry, she said, continues because women are not in positions of power, and many lack agency in decisions about their own lives. “Women can’t even choose their life partners. Caste systems and family control are still strong. Parents believe marriage is a must and should be within the caste. Since these are not negotiable, everything else for the woman becomes negotiable. Women are still treated like something to be sold in the marriage market.”
Referring to dowry death cases involving digital evidence such as voice notes or social media messages, she said that current legal provisions are strong enough to act based on them. So in such cases, if the evidence is clear, it can lead to serious punishment for the husband and in-laws, depending on their involvement, she added
Ajeetha observed that neither the Union nor state governments have developed a serious policy around women’s bodily autonomy and rights. “There is still no real policy that sees a woman’s body or rights as her own. Women are not allowed to live the way they want or even speak for themselves.”
She said that patriarchal structures continue to define the roles of men and women in the Indian society. “We are still in a patriarchal setup where men decide and women are expected to follow. The idea that women are equal to men hasn’t fully entered our thinking. Even if more laws are made, and if the government doesn’t have the political will to implement them, nothing will change.”
Pointing to the lack of representation in political spaces, she said, “Just look at how few women are elected to Assemblies or Parliament. Until the concept of equality is deeply understood and made real, things won’t change”.
She emphasised the need for education to play a transformative role in building a more equal society. “Equality must be part of school education. Children should learn about laws like the Domestic Violence Act, the POCSO Act, and the rights guaranteed by the Constitution. Right now, even civic lessons don’t teach this,” she said.
Mental breakdown and physical harm
Psychologist Dr. Ashwini NV, Founder-Director of Muktha Foundation, explained that prolonged dowry harassment puts women into a mental state where they feel completely trapped. Living under constant fear and pressure, many women enter ‘survival mode,’ where they are always anxious, and emotionally overwhelmed. “She lives in survival mode, constantly alert, walking on eggshells, with her self-worth slowly breaking down,” Dr Ashwini said.
She pointed out that women in toxic marriages often suffer deep emotional pain when their worth is measured only by the wealth they bring. “This pain is made worse when the abuse comes from those who are supposed to be her family,” she said.
She also highlighted how the fear of shame and stigma forces women to stay silent. “Even educated, financially independent women hesitate to walk away from abusive marriages because of fear of judgement and pressure to ‘make the marriage work’, even if it is unsafe,” she said. The idea that a marriage must succeed at all costs becomes dangerous when it stops women from protecting their own lives.
“Being told to ‘adjust’ even when her dignity and safety are at risk is not advice, it’s emotional violence,” she said. Ashwini explained that this kind of messaging, passed down over generations, tells women that suffering is a form of strength. “It glorifies women who suffer in silence and condemns those who stand up for their right to safety and dignity.”
She linked this to the societal structure. “The idea that only women must adjust comes from a system where men stay in their homes and women are expected to fit in,” she said, referring to the patriarchal custom of patrilocality, where a woman moves into her husband’s family home after marriage. “Generations of women have been conditioned to believe that one-sided adjustment is a virtue.”
She warned that the emotional toll of all these is enormous. “Those who remain silent often become survivors of intergenerational trauma, while those who fight back without support may experience anxiety, depression, or trauma,” she said.
To bring real change, she said, the way girls are raised must change too. “Parents must teach their daughters that their self-worth doesn’t depend on who they marry, but on who they are, their values, abilities, and character,” she said. “Marriage or any relationship should be a source of comfort, not a cause of misery or exploitation.”
“Even if I get a divorce, I can’t think of starting a second life… it would only bring shame to my family,” Ridhanya said in a final voice note. When a woman says she can’t imagine a second life after divorce, it reveals how society raises girls to endure, not to escape — and live their lives.
(Edited by Majnu Babu).
