As someone who is single as a pringle, I was not looking forward to 14 February. Every shop and street will be just decked up for Valentine’s.
But my single brothers and sisters, fret not, for Valentine’s Day is erased, replaced, and gone!
The Animal Welfare Board of India has appealed to everyone to observe and celebrate 14 February as “Cow Hug Day”.
“We all know that the Cow is the backbone of Indian culture and rural economy, sustains our life, and represents cattle wealth and biodiversity. It is known as ‘Kamdhenu’ and ‘Gaumata’ because of its nourishing nature like mother, the giver of all providing riches to humanity,” read the notice.
“Hugging with cow will bring emotional richness and hence will increase our individual and collective happiness,” claimed the board.
You heard them! I don’t make the rules! This is what we are doing this Valentine’s.
Capitalist ventures, get on board with the trend and start promoting discounts and offers on dairy products.
Has someone taken the courtesy to inform the poor cows that they will be hugged by random people on 14 February, or are they in for a shock?
Please make sure you hug your own cows and not your neighbours. Not cool.
Matru Pitru Poojan Divas
This isn’t the first time I was rescued from the mushiness of Valentine’s Day,
There is also the Asaram Bapu-initiated “Matru Pitru Poojan Divas” (Parents’ Worship Day).
My parents just wanted to celebrate Valentine’s with each other, though.
The confusion over 25 December
In 2014, the then-newly-elected Narendra Modi government announced that 25 December would be celebrated as “Good Governance Day”.
This announcement did receive some flak at the time because another major festival fell on 25 December.
No, it was not just the birthday of Sir Isaac Newton or Atal Bihari Vajpayee.
It was Tulsi Poojan Divas. And yes, also Christmas.
People working in banks were particularly upset about losing a holiday!
I learnt a set of festivals and holidays back in school, but a new celebration gets added to the list every now and then.
I feel for the kids still in school. Sigh!
(Disclaimer: The article is satirical in nature)
