Recent incidents of mothers killing children in Bengaluru has once again shed the light on the need for a compassionate, and prolonged support for families with autistic kids.
Published Oct 02, 2024 | 7:00 AM ⚊ Updated Oct 02, 2024 | 11:21 AM
Early intervention could help children with autism. (Cadree.org)
In quiet suburban corners, far removed from the busy city streets, a silent crisis is unfolding — one that often goes unnoticed until it erupts into tragedy.
Recently, a series of devastating incidents in Bengaluru has brought this crisis to light: Mothers, overwhelmed by the immense pressures of raising children with autism and developmental disabilities, took extreme and fatal steps.
The heart-wrenching stories of these mothers, who were driven to such desperate measures, have shocked the nation and underscored the unimaginable burden faced by parents of children with autism and other developmental disabilities.
Bengaluru has become the setting for multiple such tragedies, each reflecting the same heartbreaking scenario. In one instance, a 36-year-old woman threw her daughter, who had speech impediments, off the third floor of their apartment building in JP Nagar. The child survived the initial fall, only to be thrown down again, leading to her death.
The mother, reportedly mentally exhausted from the stress of caring for her differently-abled child, is a tragic example of a parent pushed beyond the breaking point.
This case was eerily similar to another in Bengaluru, where Sathi Sarkar, a 36-year-old mother, threw her seven-year-old daughter Shreya—who was also differently-abled—off a building, resulting in her death. Onlookers were horrified by the act, a culmination of Sathi’s mental and emotional deterioration under the immense strain of caregiving.
Another chilling incident saw Ramya, a 34-year-old mother, strangle her three-year-old autistic daughter, Prithika, in their home. Ramya reportedly confessed that she was unable to cope with the challenges of raising her autistic child.
These tragic events are not isolated: They are part of a broader, silent crisis that affects many families across the country who are raising children with autism and developmental disabilities.
Raising a child with autism or developmental disabilities is a journey marked by profound love but also by daily battles that many outsiders cannot fully comprehend.
Children with autism and developmental disabilities often need constant supervision, have difficulty communicating, and may display behaviors that are challenging to manage. For parents, this can mean navigating countless doctor appointments, therapy sessions, and special education meetings, all the while trying to maintain a sense of normalcy in their own lives. The mental, emotional, and physical toll is staggering.
Parents frequently find themselves overwhelmed by the unpredictability of autism and other developmental disabilities, whether it’s dealing with meltdowns in public, navigating complex healthcare systems, or trying to secure the right educational support. This daily struggle, compounded by sleepless nights and a lack of respite, often leads to chronic exhaustion. For some, it becomes an endless cycle with no reprieve in sight.
The burden of caregiving often falls disproportionately on mothers. Studies show that mothers of children with autism and developmental disabilities experience far higher levels of stress than fathers, primarily due to traditional gender roles that assign them the majority of caregiving responsibilities.
Many mothers are expected to manage the daily care of the child, coordinate with healthcare providers, handle educational advocacy, and provide emotional support—all while facing societal pressures to fulfill these roles seamlessly.
This gender bias adds another layer of isolation for mothers. They are often the ones scrutinized when their child displays challenging behavior, fails to meet developmental milestones, or struggles to fit into societal expectations. The emotional toll this takes can be devastating, especially in cases where mothers receive little to no support from extended family or community networks.
While government schemes exist to provide support, many families raising children with autism and developmental disabilities find that these provisions are insufficient. The National Trust Act of 1999, designed to address the needs of children with disabilities, includes the Niramaya Scheme, which offers up to ₹1 lakh for therapeutic support.
However, this amount has not been adjusted since the scheme was introduced over two decades ago, and is no longer adequate, especially in cities where the cost of specialized therapy is significantly higher. Moreover, accessing these benefits is a grueling process. Parents must first obtain a disability certificate, which involves navigating bureaucratic red tape that only adds to their stress. Many families report that the process is time-consuming, frustrating, and emotionally draining.
District Early Intervention Centers, intended to provide early diagnosis and therapeutic care, are often located far from the homes of those who need them most. These centers are also frequently understaffed, meaning that the very services parents need are inaccessible when they are most desperate in need of help.
Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs) have traditionally played a crucial role in filling the gaps left by government services. For many families, NGOs offer the only lifeline, providing essential therapy, educational resources, and emotional support.
However, recent reductions in funding for these organizations have resulted in a steep decline in the services they can offer. As NGOs are forced to scale back their programmes, families are left even more isolated, with few places to turn for help.
The lack of comprehensive support has left parents feeling abandoned by the system, their struggles invisible to the wider community until they result in tragedy. Without robust NGO support, many families simply cannot afford the necessary therapies and services for their children with autism and developmental disabilities.
Despite the growing awareness of autism and developmental disabilities in society, the support systems available to families remain woefully inadequate. For many parents, navigating the complex landscape of medical appointments, therapy sessions, and educational challenges is a herculean task made even more difficult by financial burdens.
The costs associated with raising a child with autism or other developmental disabilities are often staggering, and many insurance policies do not cover the full spectrum of care needed.
The mental health of these parents also often deteriorates, especially in cases where there is little or no family or community support. Despite the growing mental health crisis among caregivers, the stigma around seeking help remains strong. Many parents fear judgment or criticism and continue to silently bear the weight of their struggles, until, in the worst cases, they can no longer carry on.
Tragedies like those witnessed in Bengaluru remind us of the urgent need for systemic change. These families need more than sympathy; they need practical support—respite care, financial assistance, and mental health services.
Policymakers must take immediate steps to update existing government schemes, such as increasing the funding cap for the Niramaya Scheme to reflect the actual costs of therapy today. The process for obtaining disability certificates must be streamlined, ensuring that families are not overwhelmed by bureaucratic red tape in their quest for support.
Moreover, District Early Intervention Centers need to be expanded and properly staffed to ensure that no family is left without access to vital services. NGOs, too, must be adequately funded to continue their critical work, offering a lifeline to families struggling to cope.
Beyond policy changes, communities themselves must become more involved in supporting families raising children with autism and developmental disabilities.
Schools, workplaces, and healthcare providers need to be better equipped to understand and accommodate the needs of these children and their families. By fostering a culture of empathy and understanding, communities can help to alleviate some of the isolation that so often leads to desperation.
Every child with autism and developmental disabilities deserves a chance to thrive, and every parent deserves the support they need to help their child succeed.
It is time to turn our collective grief into meaningful action, ensuring that no family faces these challenges alone. Only by acknowledging the silent crisis faced by parents raising children with autism and developmental disabilities can we begin to create the comprehensive support systems they so desperately need.
We must act now to prevent future tragedies, offering not just empathy but tangible solutions that ensure no parent is ever pushed to the breaking point again.
(Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan and Dr Saman Khan are parents to a child with autism and consultants to NGOs working in the disability space. Views are personal. Edited by Majnu Babu).
