The growing difficulty for men to find suitable brides, known as the marriage squeeze, is becoming a serious demographic issue in Kerala.
Published Sep 23, 2025 | 4:21 PM ⚊ Updated Sep 23, 2025 | 4:21 PM
Payyavoor Mangalyam
Synopsis: A small grama panchayat in Kannur has launched an initiative not just to host community weddings, but to address the deeper crisis of marriage itself. The growing difficulty for men to find suitable brides, known as the marriage squeeze, is becoming a serious demographic issue in Kerala. More than a mass wedding scheme, it is an attempt to restore dignity, trust, and companionship to the idea of marriage.
In recent years, Kerala has been haunted by unsettling headlines — young brides found dead, women trapped in abusive marriages and mothers ending their lives along with their children. The growing shadow of domestic violence and suicides has left many women deeply anxious about marriage itself. In cities, young men and women often turn to careers, live-in relationships, or other choices.
However, in rural Kerala, the crisis takes a different form; ordinary men and women are struggling even to find life partners.
Amid this climate of fear and shifting social realities, a small grama panchayat in Kannur has stepped in with hope. For the first time in the state, a local body has launched an initiative not just to host community weddings, but to address the deeper crisis of marriage itself.
The Payyavoor Mangalyam project, introduced on 1 August by the Payyavoor Grama Panchayat in collaboration with the Single Women Welfare Association, reflects Kerala’s changing demographics and evolving social fabric. More than a mass wedding scheme, it is an attempt to restore dignity, trust, and companionship to the idea of marriage.
To ensure maximum reach, the grama panchayat officials shared a model application form through social media, the grama panchayat office, and via grassroots efforts led by association members. Speaking to South First, Jilson, a member of the Payyavoor grama panchayat standing committee, said that applications have been pouring in not just from Kannur, but from other districts as well, particularly from Travancore regions like Ernakulam, Kollam, Thiruvananthapuram, and Alappuzha.
“We act only as mediators. Once profiles are matched, we first reach out to the bride’s family and then share the groom’s contact details. Importantly, none of the grooms involved have placed any demands for dowry,” Jilson explained.
The process, supported by Kudumbashree, involves multiple teams responsible for sorting applications, contacting families, and facilitating matches. “Our biggest success is the teamwork. Everything is conducted offline, since most of the participants are ordinary people with little digital exposure,” he added.
The grama panchayat plans to facilitate around 50 marriages in the initial phase, with the community hall set aside as a common venue. However, families are free to conduct the ceremonies privately if they wish.
“We only request them to inform the grama panchayat once an alliance is finalised. This will help us maintain useful data that can aid future studies,” Jilson noted.
Although the official deadline for applications has passed, authorities have decided to keep the registration window open — but only for women — after a glaring gender imbalance was revealed. Grama panchayat officials reported that while more than 3,000 men have already signed up, barely 200 women have shown interest so far.
To correct this mismatch, fresh applications from men have been put on hold, and organisers are actively encouraging more women to come forward.
The initiative welcomes unmarried women, divorcees, widows, and elderly women. Those interested can still apply through the Kannur District Widow Welfare Association, based at the NGO Union Building near the Old Bus Stand in Kannur (PIN 670001).
Panchayat President Saju Xavier told South First that the programme has generated attention across Kerala. The mass wedding, scheduled for October, has triggered wider discussions on gender participation, social welfare measures, and the role of local bodies in facilitating major life events.
Further, efforts are underway to draw more women participants from different parts of the state.
According to a recent RTI response, Kerala records an average of 1.10 lakh weddings each year, while around 30,000 divorce cases are filed annually. Thiruvananthapuram and Kollam report the highest number of such cases.
When South first contacted Dr Anil Chandran S, Head of the Demography Department at Kerala University discussed the shifting gender ratios and their social causes, supported by data, which will soon be submitted to the Women and Child Department.
In Kerala, the overall sex ratio appears favourable to women. However, up to the age of 35, the reality is different — the ratio is not actually in women’s favour. The apparent female advantage is largely due to higher life expectancy- 72 years for men and 78 years for women.
Among those aged 60 and above, the sex ratio ranges from 1300 to 1600, meaning there are about 1.6 women for every man in old age. This data heavily influences the overall ratio.
In Payyavoor, for instance, most of the registered men are above 30–35 years old, while women registered fall between 30 and 66 years.
Culturally, India has a strong tradition of universal marriage — almost everyone marries and usually has at least one child. Despite this, Kerala’s total fertility rate (TFR) has fallen to 1.5 (as per 2023 data), fluctuating slightly but never dropping as low as 1 or below, as seen in developed countries.
There, fertility decline is linked to higher proportions of single individuals — around 21 percent of women aged 15–49 remain unmarried, and not all who marry have children.
In Kerala, the proportion of unmarried women has also risen — from an average of 5–6 percent in the past to around nine percent now. The primary reason is delayed marriage among a section of educated, financially independent women who prefer to marry after 28 or 30.
This contrasts with earlier trends: In 1991, the average female age at marriage was 22.7 years; in 2001, it declined to 21.9 years, and between 2001 and 2011, the average further dropped by half a year, largely due to early marriages.
Thus, while the majority continue to marry early, a growing share of women are postponing marriage — an indicator of social development. Kerala is moving closer to developed-country patterns, having already achieved several developmental milestones, such as significantly reduced infant mortality rates.
The growing difficulty for men to find suitable brides, known as the marriage squeeze, is becoming a serious demographic issue in Kerala. This phenomenon occurs when imbalances in the sex ratio leave a section of the population excluded from the marriage market.
In younger age groups, the sex ratio is not favourable to males, and experts warn that this imbalance will worsen in the future due to increasing migration. While male migration was once more common, today women migrate in nearly equal numbers. Certain districts, such as Pathanamthitta, face the crisis more acutely because of heavy outmigration.
“Marriage squeeze is not unique to Kerala. In Maharashtra, men had even staged protests over the shortage of brides, showing that the problem already exists in specific regions across India,” Anil explained.
The increasing proportion of singles and the worsening squeeze are compounding Kerala’s situation. Adding to this, the state’s media landscape plays a powerful role, as even small incidents of domestic abuse or marital conflict are amplified by news coverage, shaping public perception.
When asked whether sexual minorities play a part in the marriage crisis, Dr Anil Chandran clarified, “Even though more people now have the opportunity to reveal their gender identities, their numbers are still meagre. Even if the total comes to one lakh, it is not a major demographic factor. Hence, it does not significantly contribute to the marriage crisis.”
“Where are our men going?” is now a major question. While girls are increasingly dominating higher education, men appear to be stepping back. On the Kariavattom campus of the Kerala University alone, women make up nearly 70 percent of the student population.
At the school level, the ratio is almost balanced at 50-50. But when it comes to higher education, many men choose to enter the job market early. For them, earning money is often the primary motive, strongly tied to the social norm that a man must secure employment before marriage.
Work participation data also reflects this divide.
In Kerala, male participation in the workforce is significantly higher, while female participation lags. Interestingly, in states like Uttar Pradesh and Bihar, women’s work participation is much higher, mainly in agriculture and physically demanding jobs rather than intellectual or research-oriented fields.
In contrast, in Kerala, women are more focused on education and research, while men are absorbed into jobs. This imbalance, Anil noted, is another important reason behind the widening gender gap.
(Edited by Muhammed Fazil.)
