Published Sep 11, 2026 | 6:24 PM ⚊ Updated Sep 11, 2026 | 6:24 PM
InJest in a satirical column by South First. Names, places, situations are all fictitious. Caricature by Satish Acharya/South First.
Inspired by Tide’s ‘Daag achhe hain’ (stains are good) ad campaign, the government has decided to support those whom it considers to do ‘Good’ violence with the honorary title of ‘Goon’.
The government will approve it and felicitate/present/announce it through TV media. Shouts Wow Editor, Parnab Shorswami, announced the first recipient as a ‘Goon Activist’ named Freedom Bhardwaj or something.
According to Shorswami, the ‘Good Goon’ will leave Gandhi’s peace marches way behind, with the new goon not afraid to fight the good fight.
Building on the success of movies like Dhurandhar and Mirzapur, the ‘Goons are Good’ campaign will ensure that no deserving and supporting violence goes unsupported.
It can be literal, figurative, metaphorical, just abuse, in person, online, by proxy, lathi, bullet or even pellet-based, as long as it supports the government and breaks something.
The list of titles and achievements the applicants for ‘good goons’ will be fighting for includes:
Goon Journalist: Shouting hard night after night to break any opposition, political or student, especially at Jantar Mantar.
Goon Advocate: Filing PILs to break down mosques or other monumental things come election time.
Goon Judge: Ignoring conventions in law by jailing the Tea Minister’s political opposition and giving bail to the opposition to the opposition.
Goon Cricketer: Hitting the spirit of sports in the face by shaking the convention of shaking hands goodbye.
Goon Opposition: Breaking the back of their own parties to join the party in power and be ‘goon’ in the wind.
Goon Director: Dhurandhars who broke the truth by making propaganda films, which the Tea Minister quotes as documentaries and files.
Good Gen Z: Those who watch reels of the Tea Minister and don’t break into laughter but praise.
Good MP: Those who break the backs of people who don’t see Spain in Gorakhpur, or Gorakhpur as Spain.
More categories to be added as and when new people break old things.
The government also clarified that ‘Goons are Good’ should not be misread as good for goons, even though it might be true.
While real goons protested the campaign and Tide for trying to give them a clean image, Shorswami presented himself as a ‘Goon Journalist’.
(Written by Prabhpreet, an Unsanskari Writer, with a lifelong experience of laughing at things that make him cry.)
InJest is a satirical column from South First. Names, places, and situations referred to in the satirical piece are fictitious and are not intended to hurt any sentiments. The column is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt and a whole lot of laughs.
