This conversation covers crucial topics like the importance of foreplay, understanding female pleasure, addressing sexual dysfunction, and debunking vaginal hygiene myths, offering valuable insights for improving sexual health and relationships.
Published Feb 13, 2025 | 11:35 PM ⚊ Updated Feb 13, 2025 | 11:35 PM
Dr Padmini Prasad.
Synopsis: In this week’s episode of ‘Health For You’, Dr Padmini Prasad, a renowned gynaecologist, addresses common myths about sexual health, relationships, menopause, and intimacy. She offers practical advice on topics like foreplay, female pleasure, sexual dysfunction, and vaginal hygiene. Tune in to the full interview on your favourite podcast platform for insightful takeaways. Don’t miss it!
In this week’s episode of ‘Health For You’, Dr Padmini Prasad, renowned gynaecologist and sexual health counsellor breaks down common myths and misconceptions about sexual health, relationships, menopause, and intimacy, offering practical advice for individuals and couples.
From the importance of foreplay to understanding female pleasure, addressing sexual dysfunction, and debunking misinformation about vaginal hygiene — this conversation is packed with insightful takeaways.
This is just a sneak peek into the engaging discussion.
To listen to the full interview, tune in to ‘Health for You’ on your favourite podcast platform. Don’t miss it!
Q: When should sexuality education begin?
A: Sexuality education should start at home from a young age. Parents teach children about their eyes, ears, hands, and legs, but they tend to skip discussing the genital region. Instead, they instil shame by saying things like “shame-shame, don’t touch there,” which creates a negative attitude towards one’s own body. It is important for parents to give children the correct anatomical names for their body parts, including the genitalia.
This way, if the child ever experiences discomfort, trauma, or infection in that region, they will feel comfortable speaking about it. This openness helps children develop a positive and healthy attitude towards their bodies rather than associating certain parts with secrecy and shame.
Q: What are some misconceptions about sexuality education?
A: One of the biggest misconceptions is that sexuality education is the same as teaching children about intercourse.
In reality, it is a broad subject that includes gender equality, personal hygiene, puberty, understanding emotions, and fostering healthy relationships. It’s about providing accurate information so young people can make informed and responsible choices.
Sexuality education should be age-appropriate and culturally relevant. Just as we wouldn’t teach first-grader high school mathematics, we should gradually introduce age-appropriate concepts about the body, relationships, and consent as children grow older.
Q: How has awareness changed over the years?
A: Earlier, discussing sexual health was considered taboo, and many people hesitated to seek help. Now, thanks to increased education, media awareness, and open conversations, people are more willing to talk about it.
The younger generation, in particular, is more open to discussing these issues, though there is still a lot of misinformation that needs to be addressed.
Q: Puberty is arriving earlier in children. How should we address this?
A: Puberty is happening earlier due to various factors such as lifestyle changes, improved nutrition, and hormonal influences.
Since many children do not expect these changes when they happen, they feel anxious and confused. It is essential that parents and teachers talk to children about what to expect before puberty begins.
Girls should be prepared for breast development and menstruation, and boys should understand changes like nocturnal emissions, growth of genital hair and voice deepening.
Many adolescents develop body image issues due to comparison with their peers. Open discussions can help them feel normal and confident about their changing bodies.
Q: What are the biggest myths adolescents fall for?
A: Boys often worry about the size of their genitals and whether they are “normal.” They may also panic over nocturnal emissions, thinking something is wrong with them.
Girls often feel anxious about breast development and menstruation, especially if they start earlier or later than their friends.
Masturbation is another major area of concern. Many adolescents believe that masturbation causes weakness, memory loss, or infertility — none of which is true.
Unfortunately, guilt and fear about masturbation are widespread, leading to unnecessary anxiety. Parents and educators must provide accurate information and reassure adolescents that these changes are normal.
Q: Why is premarital counselling important?
A: Premarital counselling can help couples set realistic expectations about marriage, intimacy, and responsibilities. Many couples enter marriage with myths and misconceptions about sex, which can lead to problems later on.
For example, some believe that the first sexual experience must involve pain and bleeding, which is not always true. Others have anxiety about performance or unrealistic expectations fuelled by pornography.
Counselling can help couples understand topics like contraception, conception, and emotional bonding, ultimately preventing marital dissatisfaction and divorce.
Q: What are the common issues that newly married couples come to your clinic with?
A: The most common issues include lack of sexual knowledge, performance anxiety, and non-consummated marriages.
Many couples do not understand the basic mechanics of intercourse, leading to frustration and misunderstanding. Additionally, lifestyle factors like stress, work pressure, and lack of communication can negatively impact intimacy.
Couples must learn to prioritise their relationship, communicate openly, and seek medical or psychological help if they experience difficulties.
Q: Do women still hesitate to talk about sexual health?
A: Earlier, women were extremely hesitant and avoided discussing sexual health issues.
They would use vague terms or indirect hints rather than openly stating their concerns.
However, over time, with growing awareness and media influence, many women have started openly discussing their sexual problems. Some women now come to me and say, “My friend talks about enjoying her sex life, but I don’t. Is something wrong with me?”
Others expressed dissatisfaction with their partners, citing hygiene, habits like smoking or lack of emotional connection as major turn-offs.
The younger generation is more vocal and inquisitive about sexual health, which is a positive shift.
Q: What are common reasons women seek sexual health counselling?
A: Some of the most common concerns women have are lack of sexual desire, painful intercourse, inability to orgasm, and dissatisfaction with their partners.
Many women historically viewed sex as a duty rather than something they enjoy. That mindset is changing. Today, women are demanding equal pleasure, which is a healthy shift.
However, on the flip side, some women have unrealistic expectations under the influence of media and pornography, leading to dissatisfaction.
Women’s unrealistic expectations are putting increased pressure on men, leading to the development of sexual difficulty.
In cases of unconsummated marriages, some women experience vaginismus (involuntary muscle spasm that interferes with intercourse) due to deep-seated fears. One major misconception is the myth of virginity — many believe that a woman must bleed and feel pain during her first intercourse.
This fear can cause involuntary tightening of the vaginal and thigh muscles, making sexual intercourse difficult.
As a result, many men seek help for erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.
However, upon further inquiry and counselling sessions that involve both partners, the underlying issue is often identified in the woman rather than the man.
In such cases, the husband’s condition is a secondary issue triggered by the wife’s problem. This highlights the importance of treating couples as a unit, as sexual health concerns in one partner can significantly impact the other.
Q: Does menopause signal the end of sexual life?
A: Absolutely not!
Menopause is just a biological transition. Hormonal changes can cause vaginal dryness, mood swings, and reduced libido. These issues can be addressed with medical guidance.
Many women wrongly assume that menopause means the end of intimacy, but sexuality is a lifelong aspect of well-being.
With proper care, including lubricants and hormone therapy if needed, and open communication between partners, women can continue to enjoy an active sex life well beyond menopause.
Q: True or False: Women have a weaker sex drive than men.
A: False. Women’s sexuality has been suppressed culturally, but biologically, they have equal sexual needs.
Women’s sexual drive varies across their menstrual cycle and is influenced by emotional factors, but that does not mean it is weaker than men’s.
Q: True or False: Masturbation is harmful
A: False. Masturbation is completely normal for both men and women. The real issue is the guilt that society attaches to it.
Q: True or False: Women must orgasm every time during sex
A: False. While orgasm can enhance sexual satisfaction, it is not mandatory for a fulfilling sexual experience.
Women may not orgasm every time, and that is perfectly normal. The key is mutual satisfaction and emotional connection with one’s partner.
In at least 50 percent of sexual encounters, if a woman reaches climax, it is considered normal. However, if she is unable to reach the climax or has never reached it from the beginning, there could be various reasons for this — either related to the woman or the man.
Many people have inadequate knowledge about how women can reach orgasm and how stimulation should happen.
For men, arousal occurs quickly, whereas for women, it takes time.
That is why foreplay is more important for women than for men. When a woman’s body is slowly stimulated — whether through hugging, kissing, or other forms of physical affection — her arousal builds up.
Many men, even today, do not understand the importance of foreplay for their wives to experience arousal.
They rush into intercourse, focusing on achieving an erection and penetration too quickly, leaving their wives unprepared and unable to enjoy the experience.
Q: This brings up an important question: It is commonly believed that vaginal dryness occurs only in middle-aged women or postmenopausal women. Is that true?
A: As women approach menopause (perimenopause), ovarian function declines, and estrogen hormone production decreases.
Estrogen plays a crucial role in maintaining the health of the urogenital area. Reduced estrogen levels can lead to thinning of vaginal tissues, increased sensitivity, and dryness.
Certain medical conditions or early surgeries can also cause vaginal dryness.
Fortunately, there are treatments available for this issue, but the woman needs to recognise and express her concerns.
Q What about female masturbation? Have you encountered women asking if it is okay?
A: Yes, I receive many such questions. Sexuality-related questions, especially about masturbation, are common among both men and women.
Of course, the topic is more commonly discussed in the context of men, but nowadays, women are more aware. They understand that stimulating the clitoris and having sexual thoughts can lead to arousal and masturbation.
However, the problem lies in the guilt associated with masturbation.
Many women believe that masturbation can lead to problems like genital overgrowth or hymen rupture.
They worry about what will happen if their husband finds out, leading to guilt and depression.
Many unmarried women come to me asking, “I have stimulated myself; is it okay? Will it affect my married life?”
Even married women masturbate. They understand their bodies and are capable of self-pleasure. In some cases, husbands may experience erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and, as a result, avoid sexual activity.
This can frustrate the wife, leading her to masturbate. Female masturbation is common — while nearly 95-100% of men masturbate, about 60-65% of women do as well.
(Edited by Rosamma Thomas)
